When I discovered the HOT WATER leak under my house months ago, I realized that the burning up of most of the propane in the tank would catch up with me come cold weather. It has. The sheer waste notwithstanding, it was an opportunity to witness the kindness of my neighbor who crawled under my house to kneel in (hot, arrgghhh) mud and cap off the leak. I love my neighbors.
I wish I had been quicker to realize that the immediacy of hot water’s arrival to the faucets was signalling me about the mishap. Dang, I had too much going on, I suppose. It was a series of days (arrrggghhhh) of subliminal prodding by something in my psyche that lit the bulb of awareness. Of course, when I opened the covering to the crawl space and heard the trickle, smelled the dampness and felt the heat (arrgghhh), the urgency became a panic! I guess I might have not realized until the gas had totally drained from the storage tank… need to be grateful for that.
So, the autumn has arrived with soppy, plopping dark clouds spilling over the mountain. Days of repeating rain and hail storms… temperatures requiring some blanketing of horses and… now… the electric oil filled radiators to ease the chill all speak of my folly. I am bathing less to conserve the propane for hot water. I am using my toaster oven and microwave. No worries. No suffering. This is easy…. but annoying since it is my own doing or lack thereof.
The gradually emptying propane tank is catching up with me!
I’m also trying with a bit of desperation to catch up on donation receipts. With an old, old computer affectionately named “HAL”, I have managed to lose, find, lose and recover the templates for my eReceipts and the ones already compiled and sent to the beloved persons who support the horses and good work we do here. My pile to send grows (which is so good!) almost daily and now, by the grace of a beloved one in my personal life, a new computer is on its way. Maybe, I will “catch up” soon (certainly I will!). And the awareness and compassion surrounding this gift has also provided me with speech recognition software to ease this process of putting words to “screen”. You see, with my injured hands, what someone else does without a second thought and within minutes can sometimes take hours for me to accomplish.
No complaints here. No disability here, just different abilities!!
So, I’ve worked on keeping the horses sound in the squish mud; worked on healing Penny with my “right” and “left” hands (Deb & Patty) and struggled with the changing light to get meals to the horses around a tighter schedule. It is simply the “catching up” with the natural rhythms… the pulse of the planet. I think about spring arriving in Australia. I think about my friends there rejoicing in the longer light and warmer weather promised by the season… I think about the consistency of Hawaii and my beloved cousin there. My world expands here on this screen and in my daily practice and deep in my heart.
I will make a cuppa Kukicha twig tea in a bit and have a proper visit with my dogs who have felt ignored all day. The air is so heavy and wet, the condensation drops from the ceiling of my porch at night like raindrops! Blessings in the high desert.
I envision being able to catch up on the Dharmahorse bookkeeping, to write more (and with more ease), to have time to play my didges and to actually ride perhaps! I have secret plans of the heart and hopefulness of soul. We’ll see. The main thing now is to just follow our mantra:
“Just show up, be brave, be kind, rest, try again.”