It is so interesting to me how my heart is able to embrace so many beings and feel profound joy, sadness and passion all at once sometimes. I had an experience yesterday in which I found the best of myself again thanks to a group of people and horses and one remarkable man, all of whom I now love totally and without reservation.
I told my brother that it all felt as if I was from Neptune, living on Mars, and a group of beings from Neptune came to visit.
There are many photographs on https://www.facebook.com/Dharmahorse of the one day I spent with this group bound for Florida from California – driving horses with wagons that are wheelchair accessible! You see, this touched me specifically, deeply because my Grandfather Hodel lost his leg at the hip as a 10 year old boy. He built a newspaper corporation back east and took care of his family of 3 sons and 1 daughter all on his own with great strength and courage. His story is remarkable. He dug a garden by hopping onto a shovel with his one leg; he walked his whole life with crutches, even on icy streets… even on glaciers in Europe…
I fell through a window when I was 13 years old and severed all the nerves, tendons and blood vessels at my wrist – I have often, in a small sense, felt that sinking “can I do this?” feeling when faced with something as simple as carrying a tray of drinks across a room. And sometimes, well, often, I dropped things.
So, yesterday, I met a man who has the courage, love, strength and vision that my grandfather must have had! Michael’s vision is manifest in a program that allows people with disabilities to ride, in wagons, behind beautiful horses through Nature – healing and bringing joy to SO many. What an awesome thing!
I also met a man with 9 children and 9 Friesian horses brought from Europe for the Caravan across the country! I met women with Morgan horses and miniature horses, a couple with a Gypsy wagon and Percherons, a farrier with her mule, a man I just adored in a long coat and Aussie hat who said that he “was mean to everyone” and laughed all the time and was never mean and brought me an extra sweat shirt when we headed out driving to the river and the weather turned bitter cold and rainy. I met a man and spoke to his wife in Canada who teach barefoot horse care and loving horses… I had the best day ever.
So, I fell in love with a group of people and horses who felt like family. And now, they leave… on their special journey. So far this year, a lot of beings I love/loved have “left”. I don’t know what I am being taught here – I’ve cried a LOT lately. Yet, I have been saved by the compassionate Veterinarian who came to ease my little 21 year old dog’s passing. Saved by (I suspect a wild sort of man) a person I loved who was there for me while my mother was fading before her passing… sadly, I love wild men (wink). He disappeared. Two horses I knew and loved passed over. Dogs of friends… dogs I also loved… what a strange year. Of course, my mother’s death has been the most difficult loss. Still, I have this amazing life. I sure appreciate my horses, my dogs and my friends.
And I will keep falling in love. And continue to love all those I’ve “fallen” for 🙂
My cousin is making it possible to visit him next month in Hawaii. He has no idea how much this means to me. And I know, I’ll cry when I am the one who leaves Hawaii! But, the saddest thing, I think, would be to never love at all and never cry from the pain and passion that love ignites. So, my thanks go out to everyone who has caused a tear to roll down my face. It’s always worth it.