When do we give up on something? I’ve had horses who were not happy in the roles or situations they ended up in – whether my own or someone else’s. I have always tried to find a path or task that suited the individual: the horse or the student or the client. Sometimes, though, there never came a moment when things “gelled” and felt right for all involved.
Those times are quite difficult. In relationships with other peeps, I have been willing to “move heaven & earth” to make things work – and that is not healthy, especially for me. But, in relationships with animals, the human needs to be the one working to create rapport and shift things to make them comfortable. And, at times, that can mean finding a new rider or owner or companion for that horse (or dog or cat…). That can be an emotional roller coaster.
Come to think of it, letting go of a human companion can be very emotional, too, of course! Yet, the person has the ability (one hopes) to make his own choices and look out for his own well being. Animals, well, not so much. They are totally dependent upon us.
So, when things are just not working out, our obligation as a loving companion is to find a proper and caring situation for the animal. Easy to say… sometimes quite heart wrenching to accomplish. My thoughts are on this topic this evening because a student and I were discussing what should happen to my horses if I should come to harm or leave (not gonna happen, but a “what if” conversation). I actually know what would be best for each of them and I need to write it down!
When you are intimate with a being, you realize what their soul requires. I know my horses, possibly, better than I know myself.
I will never give up on any of them – but in my past, I have had horses who were not happy or not fitting in with my stable yard. And here is why I am in no way a businesswoman – I would give them to good, secure and loving homes. Just as I have never wanted anyone to simply drop me into a vacuum, I would never just sell a horse to get “rid” of him! I even explain, in detail, what is happening, why and what the plan will accomplish on behalf of the horse. I believe they fully understand… at least, I give them the option of hearing it from me!
I love unconditionally, I can place a horse in a better situation than I am able to offer without feeling shame. So, maybe it is less a question of “giving up” and more a sense of allowing something better to evolve… for all concerned. Tonight, I really will write out what I know would be best for each of my beloved horses and put it somewhere obvious. Nothing is going to “happen” to me, but I need to do this as an act of good stewardship… to be a good companion… a loving act.
Maybe that is something everyone should do – just a letter about what would be best for those we love.