The animals are so forgiving. For weeks… months now, I have made the dogs sleep outside of my bedroom because my neck hurt so much that getting wadded up in a weird position (with anyone else in the bed!) was torture. Last night I left the door open, explained everything to both dogs and Skipper curled up on a pillow at the corner of the bed and did not move all night!
Phoebe likes to lie on the floor by the bed until I’m asleep, then she goes to the sofa.
The horses have seen me collapse into tears over a dropped muck bucket. They’ve seen me throw a muck fork across the yard swearing in ways I have not expressed since I was a teenager…. I curse at the hay when I’m stacking it (it seems to give me more strength) then do Reiki symbols over it to de-tox the energy. I believe, truly, that my releasing of the frustration, sadness and anger is healthier than swallowing it. But the animals watch it and hear it and, thank goodness, forgive me immediately!
They always have been the first to forgive. And being so sensitive, the horses and dogs take on all my feelings and are more deeply affected than humans are by the connection. I ask their forgiveness for the melt down when I ram my toe into the stool leg, step barefooted on the Nylabone, push them aside hurrying to the unbalanced spinning washing machine… and they forgive me every time.
I think that now, as things have settled from the care-taking and fear, I’m actually more wonky. While my Mother was in my home, I had a flooding rain send water into the walls and into my breaker box, tripping all the GFI switches… I had no power in half my house for 2 days. Thing after thing that happened, I just faced them… Now, well, I think things caught up with me and I’m just evacuating the bad feelings.
So, “Oops” is my mantra for now. I am blessed to have the companionship and love of my animals. I’ll keep earning it, appreciating it and apologizing profusely as I wind my way out of bitterness and use them as a shining example of how to BE.