I just returned home from the Moongate. It is a Cafe’ where I have sat with coffee and enchiladas when life has knocked me down and when joy has filled my well… since the early ’90’s if not even before that. It is a place where I feel safe. And today, I grabbed the booth where the A/C blows on you and the seat is too soft and too low; where I could face the kitchen and stare at the green vinyl upholstery and everyone said hello but no one pryed.
I had just visited my Mum with my brother and, after I took him back to work, I went to the funeral home to arrange things. That was shocking. And sad. And I needed to force myself to eat something since my last meal was lunch yesterday… I feel safe at the Moongate.
Our Mum has not passed over yet – but it will be soon. I’m glad that I learned what I did today, it will cost more than I had planned (even with doing minimal things, we are Buddhist) and there are a lot of details even with simplicity. But, I hold it together pretty well. I know that the body is just a vehicle. Only in moments of strange clarity do I cry, only in moments of being caught off guard do I break down.
The Moongate was the right choice today. Morris told me about his ride in the arroyos with a hot mare. Two men across the room were talking about a strong weather event heading our way (I did not listen, don’t want to know… the Horse Trials is in 2 days!). Leetha got me my mini-combo and I ate a good bit of it. Enchiladas are my comfort food ever since my Mum and I cheated death in a blizzard driving on Highway 40 at night and found a room and a restaurant by some miracle. My Mum… we have had so many adventures together!
I sat down to check emails and facebook and decided to write here. This also feels safe. To chronicle some things of insignificance, really, but of value to me. Horse hugs and a pot of twig tea and now I will relax and practice my didge playing. The strangest thing was that the daughter-in-law of an old friend worked with me at the funeral home (loving, understanding place – really) AND, she plays a didgeridoo!! Go figure.